questions

questions inside my head right now..



how can you get ready or review for this? life's test..
you wont

how would you know if you past or fail?
survive or be sane after..

how would you feel when your friend was shot 3x in front of you?
first5 seconds will be numbing.. i guess,
but Happy should know..im sorry bout happend to your friend man..

how can you deal of losing something everyday?
go on..

what will you do if this things happened to you in a week?
ill ask for a 15minute timeout, to be alone and just breathe..

just breathe

just breathe...

just breathe...

not

Michael, you do NOT touch.
Can we really flee from ourself?

- I am your conscience
- You don't look like my conscience
- Your conscience looks like nothing on earth. However, I do exist.
- Prove it
- I can prove it: you have something to blame yourself for, therefore I am hampering you.
- I have nothing to blame myself for. Moreover, I don't like your sententious and moralizing look. I'd rather not to have any conscience, neither good nor bad, and above all, not you.
- You don't actually chose your conscience. You can only hide it behind that pious hypocrite face. But I'll stand still in spite of you. Anyway, who do you think you are fooling?
- You questions are boring. You are boring: go away. Besides, that smoke is unbearable.
- Are you going to pretend once more that you never smoke?
- Absolutely.
- You would hopelessly never listen. What on earth am I doing here? I'm definitely going.


- Wait...don't get upset...


May I borrow a cigarette from you?



****

One morning you wake up.....it's monday and you're late, and you won't get your coffee neither..... but it doesn't matter anymore....

cause you know it: the awesome pain will stay.

monster

My mind is wounded... My soul wears scars... My body remembers....My stomach suffers.... My voice sounds sincere. My reason is wreaked.... Everything.. chaos... nonsense..

that's the reality of me.


That makes me a monster.


doomed to remain such.

nothing

my office table is a mess, im tired..burnt..sleepy.... but im havin a icecream float this minute..niceeeeeeee!

news this week...
*got a dreamcatcher..thanks to joanne.
*Red is gona have his operation before September.
*Teta resigned..missed her already
*I TURNED DOWN A "PARTY"...ME?!! and it was near my place!!! aaaaaarrrhhhh!! BADVIBES

things i broke this month
*my fave sandals
*my guitar
*my watch
*one of my todd macfarlane toy
*broke my headphones, 3 days of sleep deprivation makes you lose your motor skills.

thats it..


supreme love and respect


group hug!

shit, kharma and everything nice *NOT!*

am i havin a bad kharma?

i know ive done things that would make my father proud..and my mother would disown me if she knew bout those things..
its just....i dont get a day without shits happenin to me..

im still tryin to find a better day.. or maybe ill start bein a better man..

or this is just life at it is..

easy like sunday morning..

8:16am, Sunday. Mother's Day



i greeted her happy mother's day..she answered "you still there".. i said "yes", with a deep voice..just woke up,still tryin to get rid this creative block..i still have it..fuckkk!!

"so i guess you wont be able to go to cavite" (or laguna..i dono where)..

"yah..still have another proj to finish for nextweek..hope you understand"..hoping for a miracle she would say yes..

"i dont".. i imagined her saying this with a face mad enough to hit me with a baseball bat..

"im sorry.. dont have a choice.."

then she said "ok".. just ok..

i told her to take care and have fun...but i was talkin to no one na.. she hung up the phone..


i guess ill be goin home to an empty house this evening..