Floating Ice in Slushy Masses

There’s a reason for everything. Haven’t I told that to myself? But sometimes, reason goes beyond what my mind could grasp. I linger for a moment and realize that moving on was the least I could do. I must admit I failed during those times. And until this very moment, the struggling goes on.

Most of the time logic escapes me and I go down deep into the pit without any arm at hand. It’s a slow process and that makes it more painful. It starts with a scratch until you realized that it had become a wound that will never heal even with time. How could anyone be prepared for such a battle? Anticipation has always treated me as an adversary and with that, I am always bound to be defeated.

I have often called myself a fool. And truly, such name tagging would come in handy. Expectations go beyond the loss of hope and when that happens you have no choice but to accept. Fool as I am, I would make mistakes over and over again without realizing that committing them makes me weaker than I already am. I guess I will never learn from those mistakes because the way I see it, I kept doing the same thing.

But I learn not to cry over spilled milk. It’s the worthless thing possible. The time that elapsed could never be regained and so are the wrong actions. I’m just glad that there are memories that we could dig up inside our head. Because by then, we learn to appreciate events that were long-forgotten and remember people that we’ve hurt along the way hoping that with time they would fail to recall and learn to forgive.

I learn that nothing could be perfect no matter how we tried. Perfection is but an imagined word for us to delineate the lines of imperfection. It’s synonymous to the power of the opposites. You can never appreciate happiness without knowing grief and desolation; you can never appreciate being fulfilled unless you experienced being discontented; you can never appreciate beauty if you have not seen such imperfection.

Most of all I learn that enduring is not a sin. You have to move on alright but to linger has a good effect in itself. Because by then you are able to recognize the pain it brought in your life. You realize that although moving on is ideal,

sometimes,

it’s also good to indulge and wallow.