What was the problem again?

It has been said that men are natural problem-solvers. If so, does this make women natural….problem-makers?

My special someone very nearly threatened my life when I shared this observation with her. “We are NOT problem-makers! More often than not, YOU are the problem!”
Spoken like a true woman. Of course, I had to cite examples to prove my point.

The one trait of women I will never understand is their ability to make a problem out of everything. And I mean everything. If there is no problem readily available, you can make sure they will manufacture one for your convenience.

They make it a problem when you scratch yourself too much. What’s the big fuss? If it’s itchy, then it needs to be scratched. People do that.
But it might appear that you didn’t take a bath. And do you have to do it while we’re eating, or talking to someone?

Are we really going to argue over my scratching? It’s a simple bodily function, like urinating or yawning.

And what’s this fascination over shaving your legs? You shave, then you cover up with stockings. Bravo.

Shaved legs are sexier to look at. You just wouldn’t understand. It’s a girl thing.
But how will anyone know that they’re shaved if you cover them up with your stockings? Or your pants? You don’t wear shorts everyday now, do you?

And speaking of dressing up, why do you dress provocatively, then get angry when guys stare at you? Again, you create your own problem. If you don’t want to solicit any ogling, then don’t give us a reason to ogle.

My special someone also said that watching a basketball game was the single most boring thing she ever did in her life. I do not expect her to enjoy sports. But I do expect her to realize that window-shopping is ultimately ten times more boring than watching basketball.

Honestly, can you thing of a more ridiculous way to waste your time than to hop from one shop to the next without buying anything? And when, by some incredible stroke of luck you DO buy something, why does it take up to the end of the day?

Whenever there’s a mall-wide sale, my special someone (together with my mother and sister) roam the concrete land in search of the one bargain that will make their trip worthwhile. I, on the other hand, have bought everything I need in a span of 20 minutes. It takes me longer to park than to shop.

Can’t you people decide what you want BEFORE embarking on this hazardous trip to the mall? How come I never take as long to shop?

Because we only know what we want to buy when we see it (this is my mom talking, and she has a Ph.D. Can you believe that?)

Again, things could have been simpler, but you complicate them. I would have perfectly understood your fascination for midnight madness if you didn’t complain so often about the large crowds, your weariness, or the long lines in the comfort rooms. Are you sure you enjoy doing this?

But it doesn’t stop there. You buy something, but freak out when your credit card bill arrives. It sends you into immediate depression.

“Wala na akong pera! Ang laki-laki ng bill ko!”

Duh? Who told you to buy all those shoes (many of which you will replace after just three months) anyway?

And speaking of fashion, you own what, forty pairs of shoes, fifty blouses and thirty pants? And yet you always wonder what you’re going to wear. It takes you the whole night to dress up.
Follow our example: we own fewer clothes. Ergo, we have fewer garments from which to choose. Ergo, we’re ready to go in five minutes.

Do you see what I’m getting at? You create a problem by owning too many clothes.
Honestly, you wouldn’t have half your problems if you just thought out things systematically. You have so many “problems”, but you don’t know where to start searching for solutions.
But then again, I guess that’s what we’re here for.